In The land of Insanity There be Pirates!
by uhhhcake
Summary: Utter insanety! 3 girls live in the wacky world of pirates, what will they do you ask? Trust me you couldn't even begin to imagine! plz r&r! Basic randomness---
1. Josh in the Closet and Bananna Boats!

Once upon a time, in the world of sexy pirates named jack, dog demons,and josh there were 3 little girls named Emily Kelley and Sally, The 3 little girls were from iceland and loved bagels. But they feared the dreaded furbies, flying mongooses inhabited their homeland, and then often flew into the precious ships on the island.   
  
Crispy Volcano had recently been plugged, and the town was totally dry of the rum that exploded from the top of the volcano.It was an average day, and the three girls were really bored. After chasing toasters and ambushing local toy stores burning all their furbies they decided to go to tortuga!  
  
"What's that?" Emily asked carving some socks out of a peice of drift wood.  
  
Why it's the only place to get rum o' course!" Sally said putting on her best pirate attire. "What are you doing wearing your mother's underwear on your head?" Kelley asked pointing at Sally. "WHAT that's MY mom's underwear!" Emily shreiked taking them off her head. "Hmm I wonder how much these will go for on Ebay" Emily cackled in her evilist impresion of santa claus.  
  
A flying mongoose came by and snatched the pair of underwear and cackled off before it was it was shreaded to peices by an airplane.  
  
"But I want Inuyasha!" Emily pouted. "Oh ok, go get him, I locked him in my closet" Sally said giving her a key, which was actually a dog bone. Emily shrugged her shoulders and happily pranced off.   
  
"I want potatoes!" Kelley said all of a sudden". "I want my Joshie!" Sally said sighing. "Ok!" Kelley said revealing a badly made doll version of him. "Uh, a voodoo doll of my boyfriend?" Sally said confused. "Oh no that's my uhhh" Kelley said trying to think of an excuse but was interupted by Jack Sparrow. "Hello there luv but if you'll be so kind ot take me to Tortuga, my bananna boat was eatin by that damn monkey!".  
  
"Wait a second..the Black Pearl has been nothing but an old rotten banana all this time?" Kelley screeched looking disapointed.  
  
"No lass, that damned Monkey stole me Pearl, then ate me other boat, which was made off rotten banannas" Jack said revealing an apple out of nowhere.  
  
"Oh."Kelley said, blushing at her stupidity. "My bad."  
  
Emily came back dragging an unconsious Inuyasha dog boy, "Eww magic tricks, teach me teach me!!" Emily clapped. "Aye, sure I will, but first bring me to Tortuga if you will" Jack said taking a bite of his apple.  
  
Jack the monkey came out of Inuyasha's shirt and stole Jack Sparrow's Apple. "Hey, first he eats me boat, then he steals me apple!" Jack said running after him.  
  
"Wait a minute? Emily has the evil monkey from hell that ate your ship?" sally questioned, emerging from a closet with josh.  
  
"What were you two doing in the closet? Did you do it on my good table cloths? You know I needed those to make my ship!" Kelley hollard.  
  
"Oh, our bad!" Josh said reaching into the closet and grabbing the now sweaty, smelly table clothes  
  
"Nevermind, Ok Jack, JACK COME BACK HERE!!! We're heading to Tortuga meet us at the docks and don't be late you hear?" Kelley said packing up her beloved toaster and package of cream cheese.  
  
"Wait this doesn't make since how do we go to Tortuga it's the 21st century and Jack wants to go to the 18th century Tortuga, that island is used for sheep hunting and turkey dances" Emily suggested.  
  
"Allright then that only means one thing, TIMETRAVEL!" Sally said victoriously!  
  
"Nah, it's been done- hmm what about magic!" Kelley said conjuring up ideas.  
  
"Ahh thats been done too---" Sally said thinking.  
  
"Ah lets just get this over with come on!!!" Josh said herding everyone to the docks.  
  
"Here we go onto the adventure of our life time!" Emily pointed out.  
  
"Yep! Wait arn't you bringing Inuyasha?" Kelley said looking around.  
  
"Yah he's in my suitcase!" Emily said prancing off.  
  
"I'm not even going to ask" Sally mumbled and then followed.  
  
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This chapter of insanity is over, now on to the next one!! Review or it's to the gallows with you!  
  
Written by: (According to FF.net usernames) Sally32915(as Sally), StoryTellerJS(as Kelley), and Keeosu(as Emily)! 


	2. The return of Inuchan, and Storms are br...

The group got on to the Black Pearl, and the madness continued.  
  
Inu-Chan was safe and sound packed into Emily's suitcase. No harm would come to him. Ever.  
  
Kelley and Emily sat down on the deck trying to let Inuyasha out of the suitcase but the zipper got stuck. Sally was with josh playing I spy. "I spy something watery and blueish" Sally said faintly. "Uhhh the ocean?" Josh said curiously. "Yep you got it!" Sally said clapping. "Ok i spy something wet and wavy---" Josh said looking out into the horizon. "Umm let me guess, man this is SO hard---the ocean?" Sally said dumbfounded. "Yep! Wow your good at this!" Josh said.  
  
"Sally stop makin' out with her pirate lad and help us with the suitcase!" Kelley hollard sitting on the suit case.  
  
"GET OFF!!! ur sqwashing my poor inu-chan!" Emily shreiked. "No i'm not!" Kelley said crossing her arms.  
  
After they sucessfully got inuyasha out of the suitcase Jack gave Josh some swordsmanship tips.  
  
"Ok now the best way to show off to her lass, and still beat ur target is like this!" Jack said swashing his sword around. Jack lost his grip and his sword went over board.  
  
"Opps--" Jack said looking over. "Arn't you going to go get it?" Josh said walking over to the railing. "Nah it wasn't my sword anyhow---It was only Sallys---" Jack said goin back to the wheel.  
  
"WHAT? did I just hear what I think I heard!" Sally hollard running over to Jack.  
  
"Easy lass it was no big deal really" Jack said in a transe with his compass. "WHAT??? Do you know how many bottle caps i had to save up for that!?" Sally shreiked in horror.  
  
Sally tapped her foot and Jack only ignored her. An evil smirk grew upon her face and she snatched his compass and ran over to the railing, "I'll drop it! Now go get my sword!" Sally said furiously.  
  
"Sorry luv but we're to long gone from it now plus it's proably at the bottom of Davey Jones locker and is in no way to be saved!" Jack said wimpering for his compass.  
  
Sally lost her grip and dropped the compass on the deck, Jack plopped down head first gonig to grab it. In doing so he pushed Inuyasha over board. "NOOO!!!!" Emily hollard crying, "My love, he's, He's GONE!".  
  
"Opps sorry mate, I'll get you another one, promise!" Jack said brushing off his compass. "What? Another one? You can't just go out and buy him! Go jump overboard and rescue him!!!" Emily said trying to push him overboard but he didn't even budge.  
  
"Emily what are you doing?" Sally asked eating a bananna. "Trying to get this lazy scallywag to go fetch my poor inu-chan!" Emily whimpered pushing and pulling at Jack, He only laughed in amusment.  
  
"Well why don't you go fetch him?" Sally said finishing up her bananna and grabbing another one out of her sleeve. Emily looked at the bananna dumbfounded then replied, "No he's the one that pushed him over!".  
  
"Oh well then that means your not getting your inu-chan!" Sally said walking back over to the cabins. Emily fell to the ground crying, "Why oh WHY!!!" She hollard. All of a sudden Inuyasha jumped abourd and shook like a dog and scratched behind his ear with his foot. "Hmm that's uh interesting, can he fit in a 2 foot long box too?" Josh said very interested.  
  
"Leave my dog boy alone!" Emily said protectivly and running over to Inuyasha giving him a big bear hug. "Looks like a storm is brewing in!" Kelley shouted from the above where she was climbing. Jack looked up at her then at the grey clouds. "Aye!". Jack took his stand at the wheel and demanded everyone else to their rightful posts. "This will be one heck of a ride!" Sally said as the first trickles of rain hit her face.  
  
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End of this chap! Man i was on a writing spree wasn't I? Uh yah well stay tunned for more insanity yet to come!  
  
-Kelley (StoryTellerJS) 


	3. FURBIES

Chapter 3: I Think a Storm's a Comin!  
  
Rain splattered on then deck and Emily screamed and jumped into Josh's arms. Kelley jumped into the fake arms of her sack of potatoes, and Sally squealed with delight and jumped on Jack. Jack screamed in fear of having some weird kid on him and jumped off the ship.   
  
"JACK!" the girls yelled,"NOOOOOO!!!!!" Sally collapsed at losing her beloved Jack, but was glad she still had Joshie.   
  
"Wait a tick, Josh come here!" She yelled.  
  
"Yes love?" he replied  
  
"GO SAVE MY JACKY-POO!" she yelled. "WE'RE OVER! JACK IS THE ONLY....PIRATE FOR ME!"  
  
'But..but...but.....but...FINE" Joshie yelled and dived into the ocean in search of his EX girlfriends beloved NEW pirate MAN!  
  
Emily and Sally cried for they had both lost their guys. Kelley rejoiced 'cause she still had her potatoes. But just then, a dark cloud rolled in and it started raining...dasp..dare I say....it rained...FURBIES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! The three girls screamed and jumped. Emily and Sally landed on the deck, cause their guys were at the bottom of Davy jones' locker, but Kelley landed on her potatoes once again.  
  
(A/N: maybe I should start dating potatoes. Obiviously, they're MUCH more reliable than guys.)  
  
Just then, Josh climbed up the side of the ship with Jack and Inu - chan. And the incredibly weird trio rejoiced.   
  
"JACKY POO!" Sally screamed and she jumped into his arms. " PROTECT ME FROM THE EVIL FURBIES!"   
  
"THAT'S CAPTAIN JACKY POO TO YOU LASS!" he yelled, unsheathing his sword and slaying the furbies that attacked him.   
  
There was much blood in this battle and unfortunetly, Josh was lost. After he died, Kelley chucked flaming potatoes at him. Then she relized she was burning her beloved potatoes and screamed, jumping into Emily's arms. Emily screamed and jumped into Inu-Chan's arms, who jumped into Jack's arms, who jumped into Sally's arms, who collapsed under the weight of all of her friends, minus the now decieced ex-boyfriend, Josh.  
  
"OW!" Sally yelled from the bottom of the pile. The rest followed in suit, and soon there was a lovely chorus of "OW"'s from the deck of the Pearl. Just then, the potatoes that hadn't been burned yet got up and started dancing around and singing a rousing chorus of Yo Ho Yo Ho a Pirate's Life For Me.  
  
"I LOVE THIS SONG!" Jack and Sally yelled in unison. Soon they had joined the circle of dancing potatoes and were enjoying themselves greatly. Drunk on invisible rum, the two promptly started making out and the potatoes jumped off the ship in pure disgust.  
  
Kelley,depressed at the loss of all of her beloved potatoes burst into tears, and soon Bacon appeared on the seen.  
  
"I'm sorry darling! I didn't mean to hurt you! Please take me back and let us partake in the making out after making up."  
  
"hmm..let me think about that for a minute." she said.  
  
Emily spoke up. " Your batteries weren't included were they?"   
  
Sally followed suit. " I dont know what your problem is but it's hard to pronounce."  
  
Jack spoke up as well. " I have an idear love, how 'bout we partake in the making out of the beginning of a new .....thing..."  
  
" SURE!" she yelled as she jumped onto Jack.  
  
~*~*~*~**~***~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~**~*~****~~~~~~~~~~~~~~************~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~*!*#*%$@#!@#  
  
End of chappie! yay! 


	4. A game of grab ass!

Chapter Four: I think a storms a comin part II  
  
As Jack and Sally made out in the captain's quarters, a storm brewed over head. Thunder and lightning flashed through the sky as the waves rocked the ship. All of a sudden, there was a knock on the door, and there was Aaron, Sally's latest boyfriend.  
  
"AARON! What the devil are you doing here?" she yelled, still lying in Jack's arms. Aaron glared at Jack for making out with his girlfriend, and Jack jumped off the bed and ran to the deck.   
  
" What the sam hill were you doing, love?" he asked.  
  
"Um..............." she said. " making out with the sexiest man alive." She mumbled under her breath quickly.   
  
"Was he better than me?" he wondered.  
  
" I don't remember, perhaps you should refresh my memory?" she hinted.  
  
MEANWHILE  
  
"Bacon!" Kelley squealed as Bacon chased her around the deck trying to grab her bum.  
  
"EMILY!" Bacon yelled as emily chased him around trying to grab his bum.  
  
"JACK!" Emily yelled as Jack tried to grab her bum.  
  
All of a sudden, they hear the bouncing of bed springs. They all ran over the the door of Jack's quarters and listened. More bouncing springs. Then the heard screams and other various noises that I dare not dictate in the story as they will frighten and confuse the readers of this story. They flung open the door and saw Aaron and Sally......JUMPING ON THE BED!!!!!!!   
  
Emily was shocked at the sight, and immediantly fainted on jack (purposly). Sally and Aaron noticed their newly arrived company and quikly stopped as the others stood their starring...long pause "AHH!!! my feathers! my beautiful feathers!!!!" Kelley screamed running towards the bed.   
  
Everyone seemed confused, Kelley then quikly grabbed a near by pillow and tore it in half franticlly..  
  
She ruffled threw the pillow and then finally responded in a calm tone,   
  
"ah they are all here no worries!"....."soo...who wants pizza?"!  
  
Sally and Aaron quikly left the room seeing as the others were too busy trying to stop kelley from biting the pillows.   
  
"Sally I have to ask you something...." Aaron asked with a stutter.   
  
"Will you...will you bare my children?!" he asked with a huge grin..   
  
Suddenly Emily appeared and pounced on top of Aaron.  
  
"I WILL!"  
  
.... "you WILL?!?!" Aaron said shocked and a bit frightened.  
  
"Sure just give me some ice and sugar and it's a deal!" Emily said with a childish expression.  
  
Emily then quikly stood up and started to walk off.   
  
"Hey wait where are you going?!" he asked confused.   
  
"To get a hammer what else?" Emily said continueing to leave.  
  
"A HAMMER?! AH SHIT..MOMMY!!!" Aaron said hiding behind Sally.  
  
"I don't like this game anymore" he said as if a helpless 8 year old boy.   
  
"Ahh thats ok" Sally said patting his head. "If you were to of gone threw with that, your kids were bound to kill you in your sleep anyway...now come on!!!" Sally said pulling Aaron by the arm back to the Captain's quarters.  
  
"Whats going on?!" Kelley said scratching her head while eating a banana.   
  
"Well... I was going to make a Lemonade stand with Aaron, but then he ran off with Sally..." Emily said depressed.  
  
"Ohhh I c.." Kelley said as a hammer apeared in her hand all of a sudden. She then slowly followed Aaron and Sally.  
  
"Hey Aaron there you are! Let's make sweet lemonade together!!!" Kelley said smiling waving the hammer around childlishly.   
  
Aaron stood there shocked obviously getting the wrong impression.. "Ahhh!!!" he screamed grabbing hold of Sally. The two girls stared at him as he hide behind his girlfriend.  
  
"Pizza is HERE!" Jack said screaming from the other side of the boat.   
  
"Eww yummeh!" Kelley said skipping off.   
  
"THANK GOD!! Now quick lets do it and get it over with before they come back!" Aaron said quickly.  
  
Sally looked at Aaron, then the pizza, then Aaron now giving a puppy dog face, then the pizza again.  
  
"I think I'll go for the pizza...." Sally said   
  
Aaron sat there shocked. "WHY ME!!!" he wailed out.  
  
la fin ( of the chapter) 


End file.
